H.E.A.L. Story 2 – Dreaded Drama Triangle
I view myself most often in the DDT (Dreaded Drama Triangle). With myself playing the part of victim and rescuer. For me both of these roles play off each other often. With my always trying to put myself out there to make life easier for others. Always having to compromise my values to make others happy. Even if I believe I’m in the right. Always backing down because I never learned how to approach, direct, be confident, and address people in a calm cool manner without being generally afraid of making a fool of myself. Or being angry with myself because I don’t think fast enough on my feet when faced with verbal confrontation.
These roles have created bitterness within me because I feel stuck. I’ve thought and viewed myself in a negative way. That I’ll never amount to any good in my life. It has created controversy within a negative mind. In which I’m doomed for failure and I won’t be happy ever again. I’ve failed and I don’t deserve good things in my life. Which makes me hate myself even more.
In general when I create a piece of artwork it makes me feel on top of the world.
I want to allow more self care, nurturing, positivity, positive people, and influences. Which in turn can create the creative flow I crave because that makes me happy.
For many years I lived a life that was filled with negativity and a man who was more like a child (spoiled) so in turn I had three sons not two to support.
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